Wedding Day is not Marriage
A wedding day is not a marriage. Wedding days have become very fashionable today. Couples desiring a dream wedding with all the bells and whistles have given rise to a growing multimillion dollar business world-wide. Many couples in their anxiety to walk up the isle and say “I do” seem to be oblivious of the fact that a wedding day is only one day but a true marriage is “until death do us part”. Giving careful attention to what happens after the colorful wedding event therefore must take priority long before the wedding day.
Many years ago a good friend of mine told me that she had a very good wedding day but unfortunately, her first major step toward the divorce courts started after she left the glitter and glamour of her reception. She painfully rehearsed that at the time of preparation for her delightful wedding-day, premarital counseling was not a consideration.
Many social agencies and interest groups concerned about the continual deterioration of family life, suggest that inadequate preparation by couples going into marriage is one of the major reasons why so many marriages fall apart so early after the wedding day. The implications therefore for the individual, the couple, the children and the wide society are too great for a casual approach to be taken towards the most significant human connection – the family.
Well-designed skyscrapers have often fascinated me. I have always been very curious as to how these stately structures have been able to defy the daily beatings and battering of nature and still stand tall and win the admiration of many. But behind these grand structures is a mastermind - the architect. I am informed that the role of the architect is to first capture a vision of the completed structure, both on the inside and outside. He or she then goes to work to skillfully and carefully design what the finished product should look like before one drop of concrete translates that vision into reality.
When the Master Architects of mankind sat around the round table in heaven and declared: “let us make mankind in our image and our likeness”, such a declaration was no afterthought. Coming out of that heavenly discussion was the decision to create a male and female and first equip them with a spirit so they could have continual communication with the Master Architects. Mankind was also provided with a super hi-tech computer (the brain) so that the acquisition of knowledge, wisdom and understanding could be possible. Additionally, he was wired up with delicate emotions which have the capability of experiencing and displaying genuine love. Imparting humankind with a will for the purpose of decision-making was also a part of the Master Architects’ package. Finally a functional housing (a body) with which he could live comfortably on earth and relate to his surroundings was a worthy gift from the Architect. The “icing on the cake” was the Architects’ decision to marry the man and the woman and give them terms of reference to enjoy the adventure of marriage. Unfortunately, the couple refused to follow the instructions of the Master Architect and messed up.
Today, the same problem of couples ignoring the counsel of the Architects of marriage and rushing into the arms of each other without adequately planning for the journey, is still creating major problem across the world. The results are reflected in many broken lives, homes and societies.
The misguided idea that "love is blind" is perhaps responsible for some couples thinking they can make it through marriage without a workable plan.
Marriage was never designed by God to be an experiment where mankind put his own marital concepts in a cultural “test tube”, shake them hoping that the end result may be positive. As Master Designer, God carefully planned marriage to be a lasting and enjoyable experience, despite the normal challenges that will be encounter along the journey. The key is following the Master Architects’ instructions.
Haynesley Griffith
Marriage and Family Life Consultant
[email protected]
Many years ago a good friend of mine told me that she had a very good wedding day but unfortunately, her first major step toward the divorce courts started after she left the glitter and glamour of her reception. She painfully rehearsed that at the time of preparation for her delightful wedding-day, premarital counseling was not a consideration.
Many social agencies and interest groups concerned about the continual deterioration of family life, suggest that inadequate preparation by couples going into marriage is one of the major reasons why so many marriages fall apart so early after the wedding day. The implications therefore for the individual, the couple, the children and the wide society are too great for a casual approach to be taken towards the most significant human connection – the family.
Well-designed skyscrapers have often fascinated me. I have always been very curious as to how these stately structures have been able to defy the daily beatings and battering of nature and still stand tall and win the admiration of many. But behind these grand structures is a mastermind - the architect. I am informed that the role of the architect is to first capture a vision of the completed structure, both on the inside and outside. He or she then goes to work to skillfully and carefully design what the finished product should look like before one drop of concrete translates that vision into reality.
When the Master Architects of mankind sat around the round table in heaven and declared: “let us make mankind in our image and our likeness”, such a declaration was no afterthought. Coming out of that heavenly discussion was the decision to create a male and female and first equip them with a spirit so they could have continual communication with the Master Architects. Mankind was also provided with a super hi-tech computer (the brain) so that the acquisition of knowledge, wisdom and understanding could be possible. Additionally, he was wired up with delicate emotions which have the capability of experiencing and displaying genuine love. Imparting humankind with a will for the purpose of decision-making was also a part of the Master Architects’ package. Finally a functional housing (a body) with which he could live comfortably on earth and relate to his surroundings was a worthy gift from the Architect. The “icing on the cake” was the Architects’ decision to marry the man and the woman and give them terms of reference to enjoy the adventure of marriage. Unfortunately, the couple refused to follow the instructions of the Master Architect and messed up.
Today, the same problem of couples ignoring the counsel of the Architects of marriage and rushing into the arms of each other without adequately planning for the journey, is still creating major problem across the world. The results are reflected in many broken lives, homes and societies.
The misguided idea that "love is blind" is perhaps responsible for some couples thinking they can make it through marriage without a workable plan.
Marriage was never designed by God to be an experiment where mankind put his own marital concepts in a cultural “test tube”, shake them hoping that the end result may be positive. As Master Designer, God carefully planned marriage to be a lasting and enjoyable experience, despite the normal challenges that will be encounter along the journey. The key is following the Master Architects’ instructions.
Haynesley Griffith
Marriage and Family Life Consultant
[email protected]