Prepare Wisely for Your Marriage
Marriage is a great investment and a valuable asset toward which high quality preparation should be given in order to make its future journey an excellent possibility. Whereas such preparation does not guarantee a perfect marriage, the chances of it contributing significantly to a productive and successful bond between husband and wife are very great.
I am amazed at the men and women who base their love for each other only on pretty faces, six packs, long legs, beautiful smiles, height, smooth voice, sex appeal and the list of outward appearances that can go on for eternity. Real beauty should be recognized by going beyond the physical form to discover the true character of the person, which is more than skin deep.
The wise man Solomon remarked in Proverbs 31:30 that “charm (public performance) is deceitful and beauty or that which passes with time is vain (like smoke).” The saying speaks in the first instance of someone who tries to convey in public what he or she is not in private, and in the second instance of what an individual puts on to make him or her appear beautiful. In both cases the truth is masked.
If you are serious about investing in marriage you should consider closely examining four very important aspects of your potential spouse’s inner being.
Firstly, you should not ignore the fact that we are all spiritual beings and therefore seeking to find out where your future partner is spiritually, must never be overlooked. It is a mistake not to know to whom or what your potential spouse looks to for spiritual direction and inspiration, because it is impossible for an individual to be more than what he or she believes. An individual will always act out of his or her belief system and marriage in itself will not change that reality.
Secondly, you should pay close attention to the person’s way of thinking. A person’s philosophy or value system which is fashioned in the mind will drive that person’s expressions and conduct. The step towards marriage in itself will not transform the individual’s mind.
Thirdly, it is prudent to observe your lover’s emotions. How a person generally responds or reacts emotionally to life’s challenges, often sends signals about his or her emotional stability or lack thereof. If your friend is habitually seeking to control you, or is physically, verbally, or sexually abusing you, or even pressuring you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable, marriage is not the avenue to use to change that emotionally unstable man or woman. It will not!
Fourthly, when it comes to the will of the person you love, this is the area where serious decisions and commitments are made. If a person is constantly making decisions and then regularly changing his or her mind, marriage will not correct that person’s way of doing things. Your partner should be able to make decisions on his or her own and stick to them. With a positive attitude, your spouse-to-be should demonstrate a willingness to accept responsibility for his or her decisions. Also, that potential spouse’s ability to learn from challenging experiences, make the necessary adjustments and assertively and confidently move on, ought to be very high on the list of your partner’s priorities.
Physically, beauty is important. However, if you are keen on having a marriage that will last, concentrating only on physical appearance will not make the grade. Invest in something more lasting and durable. Train your eyes to look beyond the skin-deep appeal and acquire a hefty appetite for inner beauty. Roll back the curtains of outward appearance and search diligently and deeply for gems like integrity, honesty, wisdom, knowledge, common-sense and unselfish love. These are solid building blocks for a healthy home. God, the Founder of marriage, freely offers them.
It was Colin Powell who once said, “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” Great thought. Don’t fool around with your future, prepare wisely for your marriage.
I am amazed at the men and women who base their love for each other only on pretty faces, six packs, long legs, beautiful smiles, height, smooth voice, sex appeal and the list of outward appearances that can go on for eternity. Real beauty should be recognized by going beyond the physical form to discover the true character of the person, which is more than skin deep.
The wise man Solomon remarked in Proverbs 31:30 that “charm (public performance) is deceitful and beauty or that which passes with time is vain (like smoke).” The saying speaks in the first instance of someone who tries to convey in public what he or she is not in private, and in the second instance of what an individual puts on to make him or her appear beautiful. In both cases the truth is masked.
If you are serious about investing in marriage you should consider closely examining four very important aspects of your potential spouse’s inner being.
Firstly, you should not ignore the fact that we are all spiritual beings and therefore seeking to find out where your future partner is spiritually, must never be overlooked. It is a mistake not to know to whom or what your potential spouse looks to for spiritual direction and inspiration, because it is impossible for an individual to be more than what he or she believes. An individual will always act out of his or her belief system and marriage in itself will not change that reality.
Secondly, you should pay close attention to the person’s way of thinking. A person’s philosophy or value system which is fashioned in the mind will drive that person’s expressions and conduct. The step towards marriage in itself will not transform the individual’s mind.
Thirdly, it is prudent to observe your lover’s emotions. How a person generally responds or reacts emotionally to life’s challenges, often sends signals about his or her emotional stability or lack thereof. If your friend is habitually seeking to control you, or is physically, verbally, or sexually abusing you, or even pressuring you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable, marriage is not the avenue to use to change that emotionally unstable man or woman. It will not!
Fourthly, when it comes to the will of the person you love, this is the area where serious decisions and commitments are made. If a person is constantly making decisions and then regularly changing his or her mind, marriage will not correct that person’s way of doing things. Your partner should be able to make decisions on his or her own and stick to them. With a positive attitude, your spouse-to-be should demonstrate a willingness to accept responsibility for his or her decisions. Also, that potential spouse’s ability to learn from challenging experiences, make the necessary adjustments and assertively and confidently move on, ought to be very high on the list of your partner’s priorities.
Physically, beauty is important. However, if you are keen on having a marriage that will last, concentrating only on physical appearance will not make the grade. Invest in something more lasting and durable. Train your eyes to look beyond the skin-deep appeal and acquire a hefty appetite for inner beauty. Roll back the curtains of outward appearance and search diligently and deeply for gems like integrity, honesty, wisdom, knowledge, common-sense and unselfish love. These are solid building blocks for a healthy home. God, the Founder of marriage, freely offers them.
It was Colin Powell who once said, “There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” Great thought. Don’t fool around with your future, prepare wisely for your marriage.