Fathering the Fatherless Males
There is no secret that there seems to be growing diverse issues facing young males in our society today. There are so many plausible reasons identified pertaining to the causes for such disquiet. The story I am sharing today demonstrates one of the ways men of wholesome character can assist in alleviating some of such unsettling social and other concerns currently facing youngsters in our society?
“One day, from the comfort of my house, I observed a little boy who was 9 years of age wandering about the streets as if he had no sense of direction. “I could not get the image of the child out of my mind. “I was drawn to him like a magnet”. These are the words of James (not his real name) who was eventually challenged internally to take on the role of fathering this petite lad.
James was well-respected by those in his community and many individuals, young and old, looked up to him for advice and counsel. He could be described as insightful, wise, knowledgeable, opinionated, humorous and honest. He was also an active churchman whose Christian values governed his conduct both in and outside of the church walls.
One day James received a call from the headmaster of the primary school where Erskine (not his real name) attended, that would change his life forever.
“I dropped everything I was doing”, James said, “and rushed to the school, and it was there that the gravity of the situation became evident.”
Erskine had gotten into trouble again at school, but this time it was a little more serious than previous occasions when he was sent home for bad behavior. James was shocked when the headmaster told him that Erskine identified him as the person to call and not his guardian.
This new “father” did everything that was necessary including meeting with the parents of the other child with whom Erskine had an altercation, and got the issue satisfactorily resolved.
James soon got to find out that this little boy, Erskine had lost his mother by death months before and did not have any knowledge of his biological father.
With the permission of the relative with whom Erskine was residing, James began the process of bringing this “troubled child” from off a path of destruction and onto the highway of decency and respectability. He acknowledged that Erskine’s marks at school were far from anything near average.
“I began to work with him by helping him with his homework and also instilled some discipline in his life”, James said. “Within a short time his grades began to improve significantly.” When Erskine sat the 11 plus exam his marks guaranteed him a place among the top ten secondary schools. At age 12 James took Erskine to live permanently at his residence and did everything a good father would do to a son.
While Erskine was at primary school, James fostered a healthy relationship with the principal and teachers.
“This is the same approach I applied when Erskine went on to Secondary School and I made it my business not only to attend all the form level meetings, but also to talk regularly with every teacher that taught Erskine.”
James’s hard work paid off. Erskine’s behavior and schoolwork improved considerably and he did well at CXC and went on to a tertiary institution and excelled. Erskine is now gainfully employed.
I happened to meet up with Erskine who spoke very highly of his “father” James and expressed sincere gratitude and appreciation for the significant role he played in his life. He further remarked, “Over the years I have become better focused because my “father” has been both a father and mother to me”.
What an excellent example of a concerned citizen who took on the role and function of a father to a youngster whose life seemed initially to have been destined for destruction, but who is now a productive member of society. What an extraordinary father!
I can imagine the transformation our society can experience if similar actions are taken by “fathers” like James?
“One day, from the comfort of my house, I observed a little boy who was 9 years of age wandering about the streets as if he had no sense of direction. “I could not get the image of the child out of my mind. “I was drawn to him like a magnet”. These are the words of James (not his real name) who was eventually challenged internally to take on the role of fathering this petite lad.
James was well-respected by those in his community and many individuals, young and old, looked up to him for advice and counsel. He could be described as insightful, wise, knowledgeable, opinionated, humorous and honest. He was also an active churchman whose Christian values governed his conduct both in and outside of the church walls.
One day James received a call from the headmaster of the primary school where Erskine (not his real name) attended, that would change his life forever.
“I dropped everything I was doing”, James said, “and rushed to the school, and it was there that the gravity of the situation became evident.”
Erskine had gotten into trouble again at school, but this time it was a little more serious than previous occasions when he was sent home for bad behavior. James was shocked when the headmaster told him that Erskine identified him as the person to call and not his guardian.
This new “father” did everything that was necessary including meeting with the parents of the other child with whom Erskine had an altercation, and got the issue satisfactorily resolved.
James soon got to find out that this little boy, Erskine had lost his mother by death months before and did not have any knowledge of his biological father.
With the permission of the relative with whom Erskine was residing, James began the process of bringing this “troubled child” from off a path of destruction and onto the highway of decency and respectability. He acknowledged that Erskine’s marks at school were far from anything near average.
“I began to work with him by helping him with his homework and also instilled some discipline in his life”, James said. “Within a short time his grades began to improve significantly.” When Erskine sat the 11 plus exam his marks guaranteed him a place among the top ten secondary schools. At age 12 James took Erskine to live permanently at his residence and did everything a good father would do to a son.
While Erskine was at primary school, James fostered a healthy relationship with the principal and teachers.
“This is the same approach I applied when Erskine went on to Secondary School and I made it my business not only to attend all the form level meetings, but also to talk regularly with every teacher that taught Erskine.”
James’s hard work paid off. Erskine’s behavior and schoolwork improved considerably and he did well at CXC and went on to a tertiary institution and excelled. Erskine is now gainfully employed.
I happened to meet up with Erskine who spoke very highly of his “father” James and expressed sincere gratitude and appreciation for the significant role he played in his life. He further remarked, “Over the years I have become better focused because my “father” has been both a father and mother to me”.
What an excellent example of a concerned citizen who took on the role and function of a father to a youngster whose life seemed initially to have been destined for destruction, but who is now a productive member of society. What an extraordinary father!
I can imagine the transformation our society can experience if similar actions are taken by “fathers” like James?