Developing Intact Families
It is my observation that the family carries great significance for many people across the world. Over the years, the family has evolved to mean different things to different people. Today, however, I shall take a close-up view of one such group, namely the intact family ‘in which membership has remained constant, in the absence of divorce or other divisive factors’. The social scientists in overwhelming research, continue to show those intact families, though not perfect, have a far higher success rate as it pertains to stability and cohesion than those that operate differently. The researchers continue to place a strong emphasis on the positive emotional and intellectual well-being of the children, resulting in lower levels of problem behaviors. Since intact families carry such noteworthy benefits for the home and the wider society, it might be worth exploring some main ingredients that can make them happen.
First, there should be genuine self-love. The man and the woman must each develop over time a pure love for him/herself. Despite their childhood challenges, each should seek to foster some essential core values like self-respect, honesty, integrity, kindness, and a strong God-focus. With each having a love for self, the chances of creating a genuine passion for each other are high.
The love to which I am referring does not first come out of the individual’s feelings, but flows from the individual deciding to love him/herself.
Shailene Woodley said, “I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don't have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else?”
It seems logical to conclude that if someone loves him/herself, loving others becomes a higher possibility. The opposite is also exact.
Second, there should be mutual love for each other. When the husband and wife see each other through the eyes of genuine respect, it has a way of promoting unity and eliminating competition between them. The couple can, therefore, operate side by side within the family circle, hence building sturdy cornerstones for a stable and sustained home environment for themselves and their children to enjoy.
The nature of this love carries thirteen characteristics that, if practiced, can contribute considerable value to the intact family. The Holy Bible gives us these gems in St. Paul’s writings to the Corinthians in his first epistle, chapter 13: 4-7. It tells us that genuine love is patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful, not rude, not selfish, not quick-tempered, keeps no records of wrong, rejoices in the truth, not in evil, always supportive, always loyal, still hopeful and always trusting. If the couple can grow because of these valuable assets, the family can be secure for life.
Third, they should display love toward the children. According to Psychology Today, November 22, 2015, “When children are isolated or deprived of their innate desire to connect, to relate, or to love, they implode. This implosion causes much of their need to search for that which was not provided in the home. They often act out in isolation and search for love elsewhere.”
It said, “Children require substantive, attentive, nurturing to thrive. The supportive love of parents fuels the achievement of the child’s potential. Through recognition of the need to relate effectively to others, to love and be loved, we impart the capacity for healthy intimacy and generosity.”
When parents display a genuine love for each other, the children often exhibit it to themselves, their peers, and adults.
Someone once said, “Where there is unity, there is always victory.” When a father, mother, and children live and work together, the possibilities for a healthy society are significant.
Can you imagine the social, mental, emotional, spiritual, and economic benefits for humanity, if intact families, which God put in place at the beginning became the order of the day?
First, there should be genuine self-love. The man and the woman must each develop over time a pure love for him/herself. Despite their childhood challenges, each should seek to foster some essential core values like self-respect, honesty, integrity, kindness, and a strong God-focus. With each having a love for self, the chances of creating a genuine passion for each other are high.
The love to which I am referring does not first come out of the individual’s feelings, but flows from the individual deciding to love him/herself.
Shailene Woodley said, “I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don't have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else?”
It seems logical to conclude that if someone loves him/herself, loving others becomes a higher possibility. The opposite is also exact.
Second, there should be mutual love for each other. When the husband and wife see each other through the eyes of genuine respect, it has a way of promoting unity and eliminating competition between them. The couple can, therefore, operate side by side within the family circle, hence building sturdy cornerstones for a stable and sustained home environment for themselves and their children to enjoy.
The nature of this love carries thirteen characteristics that, if practiced, can contribute considerable value to the intact family. The Holy Bible gives us these gems in St. Paul’s writings to the Corinthians in his first epistle, chapter 13: 4-7. It tells us that genuine love is patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful, not rude, not selfish, not quick-tempered, keeps no records of wrong, rejoices in the truth, not in evil, always supportive, always loyal, still hopeful and always trusting. If the couple can grow because of these valuable assets, the family can be secure for life.
Third, they should display love toward the children. According to Psychology Today, November 22, 2015, “When children are isolated or deprived of their innate desire to connect, to relate, or to love, they implode. This implosion causes much of their need to search for that which was not provided in the home. They often act out in isolation and search for love elsewhere.”
It said, “Children require substantive, attentive, nurturing to thrive. The supportive love of parents fuels the achievement of the child’s potential. Through recognition of the need to relate effectively to others, to love and be loved, we impart the capacity for healthy intimacy and generosity.”
When parents display a genuine love for each other, the children often exhibit it to themselves, their peers, and adults.
Someone once said, “Where there is unity, there is always victory.” When a father, mother, and children live and work together, the possibilities for a healthy society are significant.
Can you imagine the social, mental, emotional, spiritual, and economic benefits for humanity, if intact families, which God put in place at the beginning became the order of the day?